(Warning: Really long opinionated post!)
Let me start out by saying I am not a parent. But I have spent a significant amount of time caring for children in various capacities. Along with The Boy’s kid, I have been caring for one family’s children for over nine years; their kids are 13 and 6. I know these boys pretty well, I consider them all “my” kids. I have felt that hole in my stomach when something bad happens, I have felt helpless when they were sick, and I have felt the warmth inside when they figure something out for the first time. I realize this is nowhere near as powerful as what full time parents get.
Over the weekend The Boy, The Kid, and I went to see a movie. While leaving I saw a little boy, about 4 year old at the most, red-tear stained face, running around looking for a parent. The ticket collector and I looked at each other and he commented that the little boy had been running around for a while now. So I went after him, thinking that his mother and/or father would be worried sick by now.
I caught up with him and asked him where his momma was, he froze and curled up into a ball. He was shy, I am a stranger. Other moms showed up to see if he was mine or if they could help. I stayed with the boy while another mom went to find a manager.
Finally his mom came towards us. I was sitting on the floor with him. Other mom’s and their kids were trying to be friendly and keep him calm. Then came the shocking part, and I’m still shaking from this as I type. First words out of his mom’s mouth? “He does this to me all the time!” Not “Thank you!” or “Oh my God, I was so worried. He wandered off and I could not find him!” Nope, she was the victim. He did this to her. He threw his blankey at her and ran off.
HE’S FOUR YEARS OLD!!
*ahem* Right sorry. I realize as a parent you get tired, it’s constant, it beats you down. This child was your decision ultimately. You decided to get pregnant, or to go through with the pregnancy, and then to keep the baby. You decided this. You did. And I do know there are a ton of rewards that go along with the exhaustion.
I can vent here and criticize. I do not have all the information. I don’t know what had happened before I saw the little boy. It took all the control I have not to say this to her. At four years old a kid is nowhere near enough aware to be held for most of his actions/reactions. At this point he is merely copying an adult’s (usually a parent) actions/reactions. As adults and parents WE are responsible for teaching our kids how to handle situations on levels that they can understand.
I really did almost offer to take the little boy home with me if she was so sick of him. In the end I just held my tongue and walked away. It was very difficult. Thanks for letting me get that all out.
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